Louisiana 2600 Manifesto
Full disclosure: this was written by Lipid for the New Orleans 2600 meetings back in the day (April 4th, 1998), but it's so damn classy that it deserves to be our statewide Manifesto.
The New Orleans 2600 was founded in 1887 by Herman Melville, a superhuman being whose legs are made from tungsten carbide. "The organization has always stood for many things," said Melville at a recent cocktail party. "It represents the mystical trinity deep inside all of our hearts. But our main goal is to find the man who took my legs from me all those many years ago."
From their secret headquarters located an undisclosed number of miles underneath the Superdome, the 2600 members dedicate their lives to their work with a quiet dignity and a rancid sweat.
But what are they really looking for? "Bee pollen," says Captain Gerald Hebert, a former aide to William S. Burroughs. "We're looking for bee pollen."
But Secretary of Defense Henry Mancini tells a different story. "Gerald has a tendency to exaggerate," he told us at a recent fertility ritual. "While we certainly keep an eye open for pollen, it isn't any more than the average woman or man you might meet on the street does. What our organization is really about is examining the inside of the unexamined. To separate the chaff from the wheat so to speak. There are going to be a lot of changes in the coming weeks and months. We've devised a vaccination against polio and [we're all very excited about] it.
We've spent a lot of time planning the unveiling party. Near the end these huge bouquets of balloons descend from the ceiling and pop and spray [the audience] with polio virus. It's going to be really exciting."
Whatever the goal and whatever the flavor of the month, you can always count on the New Orleans 2600 to bring you the latest in innovation, intervention, and deus ex machina.
Because as Prime Minister Michael Pruett stated at a recent press conference, "Woo hah, we got you all in check."